Jamie Wolfer
29
10 Wedding TRADITIONS to SKIP (but only if you want to ✌🏻)
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35 comments
I'm in favor of replacing braidsmaids and groomsmen with guests of homor of either gender. I have no one I would want to be my best man and the one person I want to give a speech is a woman.
Yeah, im doing none of these things. Other things Im not doing: party favors, physical invitations, random signage, having a family member walk me down the aisle. Make sure your wedding is meaningful to you and not just a script!
I'm deeply religious and don't drink. Neither do most of my friends so the idea of paying a whole lot of money to have alcohol that people won't drink has just never made sense to me. Also I'm probably not going to have a ring bearer. A flower girl yes but I'm not sure about a ring bearer. I'm just relieved that I can not do these things and that it's okay.
Lol croquettes are those little potato cylinders. I love them
😊
I am getting married this year and I have been debating on not having kids there but having 2 appear for the "flower girl/ ring bearer" postion and then I thought, like even that small responsibility may be too much for them and I don't want any meltdowns and crying at my wedding! Also I do not the idea of a garter toss.
My wedding is going to be simple simple, no bridal party, no kids and only 30 people. I convinced my fiance to get ready with me the morning of the wedding beacuse Im not close with my mother and mot super close with his and my sisters cant even make it. So were going to have a private first look and vows in the hotel room before we leave 🥰
My stepson got married last year. They had a fancy, sit-down dinner and a DJ. Everybody left after the first dance because there wasn't any alcohol. Most people don't like to dance sober. The place was rented until midnight but everyone (except immediate family) had left by 7:30. The bride was heartbroken.
Registry: Please consider clarifying that gift guidance is provided ONLY when requested. NEVER bring up what sort of gift you might like, not even to say you'd rather not have a gift at all. (The reasoning is that gifts are not to be expected or even anticipated. So no matter how much you are 100% certain Jane will be giving a gift, you pretend that the idea has never crossed your mind.)
Dinner: Unless the event is quite short, it is necessary to feed those asked to attend. Suppose the invitation says ceremony at 1:00. Guests start travelling at noon. Then ceremony, perhaps "cocktail hour," and finally celebration at starts 2:30. By 3:30 these people will be quite hungry and hosts have a duty to assuage that hunger. The service needn't be formal and the food needn't be fancy, but it must be a meal, not just a few nibbles. If you want to serve nibbles only, then celebrate immediately after the ceremony and keep it short. Guests' hunger doesn't take a Time Out while you run off for a photo shoot.
Booze: Yes and TY! Host are obliged to relieve guests of hunger, of thirst, but not of sobriety. Those who cannot endure time without their intoxicant of choice may perhaps bring a discreet purse or pocket flask.
Grand Entrance: What happened to a receiving line to WELCOME GUESTS to YOUR party? Oh that's right, you abandoned your own party for something more important to you than your guests! Silly me! IMHPO the whole "Cocktail Hour Then Grand Entrance" thing is rude. Hosts should not leave their own party to keep guests cooling heels for an hour or more and then emphasize the rudeness with an eventual Grand Entrance as is everyone is thrilled to sit and wait for them. Your guests are bit doting grandparents anxious to see you prance around in the school amateur pageant.
Way back in ancient times (the 1900s) we took photos before, during, and immediately after the ceremony, of guests arriving and passing along the receiving line, and during the course of the celebration. But the celebration wasn't delayed; we didn't to put our guests "on hold."
Wish you had mentioned a few optional PRODUCTS couples can easily do without like Save The Dates, commercially produced invitations, RSVP kits, programs, favors, the many many many rounds of gifts. But considering the constraints of self censorship (don't want to piss off those wedding vendors!), not bad at all. Thank you.
Is it ok that I'm not sending invites to my bridesmaids? Me and my fiancé agreed that because they have already agreed to being a bridesmaid we don't need to create another invitation for them and just tell them the important information.
Was this silly? 😬
My hubbie and I met thru a Christian 4wd club, which supported 2 Australian organisations. We asked guests just to donate to those, instead of any present/registry. We had everyone we knew come to the service, and just bring domething for morning tea instead, so stacks of food. It was too early in the day for grog, which was fine with us. Too crowded for dancing either. Then my brother had us for lunch: bridal party, interstate guests, and immediate family. We had photos in his garden, so we weren't holding up lunch. We had a spit roast company do our food. My whole outfit was from thrift stores/ op shops, so cost <$20A. I did my own artificial flower bouquet etc, and didn't toss it. I did small real flower bouquets on ends of pews, given as thank yous during speeches. We decorated my and a friend's 4wd for wedding cars. No grand entrance/exit, as service/ morning tea were on the same church site. A friend who always had pretty makeup did mine. My mum made a normal size version of my favourite cake to cut at morning tea, and then prewrapped slices of a couple more to have on plates ready to hand out. Whole thing (in 1999) cost $1500A, not counting rings.
My 2 attendants walked me down the aisle with the 3 kids I worked with at a boarding school for moderately intellectually disabled kids. Wouldn't change a thing.
No bridal shower/ batchelorette parties. No garter/ flower toss. No wedding favours, or ring bearer.
I don’t want to do a rehearsal dinner. That’s an extra $1000 to pay for meals. Absolutely not. We can go to Top Golf. Lol
My view is that, other than (perhaps) signing a marriage certificate, any tradition that doesn't interest you is one you can skip. It's your wedding, do it however you want.
I love this vid! Yes 😍 definitely really enjoyed watching this and being like hell yeah we're not doing that… Or that… Or that. Just great to feel justified in our choices.
Big thing – Cake. We're not having one in the traditional sense. Raised a lot of eyebrows. But me and the fella just don't really like cake. And why spend that much money on it, it's obscene! So, as there was contention we found a compromise. Still not doing doing traditional wedding cake. But instead doing a cake made of cheese (full tiers and everything, but we love different cheeses so it fits perfectly with us as a couple). It's LOADS cheaper. Also, my grandma is paying for it because she really wants us to have cake.
Another point of contention on that – we're not having a cake cutting picture. We don't want to pose with our cake. We'll get the photographer to take a lovely pic of the cake set up. Then the staff at our hotel will take it away and cut it then put it out again with crackers for all our guest to enjoy with the evening reception.
To be honest I'm saying this story in the comments because I'm hoping someone else reading this will realise it's okay to do that, even when lots of close family are against it. It's your wedding and you should 100% stand your ground. That's what we're doing every step of the way!
3-27-23
This should be about getting rid of sexist practices NOT part favors snd bridal stuff.
Omg aa soon as i announced my engagement and picked my Maid of Honor she tried taking over my entire wedding….like When we do the bridal entrance i want to walk in to this song and i had to tell her like im not doing a bridal party entrace(like to me its stupid and cringe annnnnd the ceremony is on the same site as venue((cuz also making people drive here and there is ridiculous)) sooo she was all mad then she was mad because i told her i wasnt doing a bouquet toss or garter toss cuz i also think thats gross no man needs to bw under their womans dress in front of their parents and grandparents groossssss. Anyhow literally everyone thinks its their wedding and the endless opinions are giving me PTSD
Asking people to give you gifts is dumb especially if you are over the age of 21……your an adult. Under 21 ok your a kid and need help getting homestead together understandable but you in your 30s that just dumb
Dude I wish I had NO BRIDAL PARTY!!! Literally everyones opinions ruined the whole experience. I changed things like colors due to their opinions and how they hated the color i chose!!! Annnnd its hard getting them to agree to anything, especially Batchelorette party….the thing is everyone considers it "their vacation" and not "your Batchelorette party" IT TIME TO WAKE UP BRIDES !!!! MOST PEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR WEDDING AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!! therefore do whatever you and groom want if you have difficult family or friends exclude them from the beginning, and dont change dooooooont change your mind or do what i wished i begged for an ELOPE
Getting married this weekend and I have made all of these choices before seeing you. I am so glad I seen this because I was questioning choices!
I'm not planning to have alcohol OR dancing! Frankly, I come from a family of very budget-conscious (I'm talking 3k to 4k max) brides, and of all my cousin's/siblings weddings (10/14 of them are married on my Dad's side), only one of those that I went to had dancing. While I do love dancing, my partner doesn't, and I would rather hold a dance party some other time than make him uncomfortable the whole night. Also, my partner and I are not that into alcohol, nor is my family, so paying for everyone to have it isn't our speed either. Considering ditching dinner too and just doing desserts. Is it much of a wedding after that? You can be the judge… but all I really care about is getting married and having my closest family there to see.
I literally just watch these things for fun, I am not planning a wedding any time soon, but I feel this way about cake. I think I'll have a small cake, that's decoration only – if that! I just don't care about it and I feel like no one cares about cake.
Groom's cake is another item you can cut. Thanks for the modern wedding tips…our wedding will be our 3rd for both of us and we are both over 50. I was seeking ideas for a different kind of wedding.
Canapes x
For the alcohol I have a lot of religious ppl coming to my wedding so we chose after the reception everyon heads to my place and we have a Bomb fire with alcohol and pizza
I’m in the process of planning my wedding and it’s in a year and I wanna add a routine for my fiancé with my colorguard flag
First time. Thank you
Haven’t even listened yet, but I appreciate and need to hear this.
Loved this video. Thank you! 💜
A new tradition that’s taking place in many Christian and Catholic weddings instead of the garter toss is the husband washing his wife’s foot to symbolize his love and service to her. It’s a take on the Holy Thursday Maundy ceremony.
So you’re saying couples can cut the cheese?
I thought the whole point of having a maid of honour/best man was for the legal purpose of having two witnesses sign the marriage license? Where I live you must have two witnesses.
BYOB and potluck
I once saw a picture of a peacock on a cake and the tail was cupcakes and I thought that was fucking genius
Cocktails hour ? Do you need it ?
I missed the bouquet toss at my mom's wedding 🙁
I've also seen people do a fake grand exit. That way people who need to leave early that you want there for it can be there for it.
My fiancé and I are older. I’ll be 51 when we marry he’ll be 65. We’re marrying in a Vegas wedding chapel with about 10-12 guests. I like the smaller weddings.