Jamie Wolfer
13
#9 is the WORST | 10 UNBREAKABLE Wedding Guest Rules
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23 comments
I had a $75 sign right by the entrance to my ceremony because I knew that my soon to be MIL has a habit of blocking the way with her ipad to "get the good shot". She knew that we had paid a VERY pretty penny for a photographer and yet there she was IN THE AISLE taking pictures the whole ceremony. No we did not have a 2nd shooter and we even assigned family seats in the front row to try and mitigate this from happening. Luckily the photographer was still able to take pictures and photoshop her out but it really bothered me. When I brought this up with her a few days later, she replied with "yeah but look at the photo I got of you guys"
Also during the reception someone's plus one that we did not know changed into clothes that looked like they were from Hot Topic in the early 2000's… and you can see them in all of the dance photos… our dress code was cocktail for the record
Uninvited guests is the most important one for me. We have a very low budget and want to accommodate for everyone we'd like to be there, which means we already have more plus ones and kids than we're comfortable with. But it's a fair trade off, since we want them there we're also extending invites to plus ones/families. I also have social anxiety and get VERY uncomfortable with large groups of people so I'm probably gonna disappear at some point during the reception or bring some earplugs to drown out the sounds of screaming children. I also have an uncle who always ends up inviting all of his roommates or close buddies so we had to word our invitations very carefully to give him no room to interpret that as "bring whoever you want." Long story short I'm not a people person so if you're invited, you're really special to me. But I don't want anyone else there.
You are so much fun! Almost makes me want to get married again so I could hire you as my wedding planner! 💖
Based on irate posts I have read elsewhere:, Rule Number 11: DO NOT make any announcement such as an engagement/ pregnancy at the reception without clearing it with the newlyweds. Wars have been started for less:).
You should redo the wedding parties videos (shower, Bach trip, dinner rehearsal)
i loveeeeee your look in this video. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!
Great video!
Real quick, in your professional opinion, would it be frowned upon to have a link to this video printed on our wedding invitations? Asking for a friend. 😅
Hey there! I cannot even tell you how helpful (and fun!!) it's been to follow along as I plan my wedding!
I have a circumstance (not really an "issue") with the wedding colors and I'm not sure if I'm being a total bride-zilla or not (and if so — I need a reality check!!).
Our colors are black and burgundy and our wedding party and parents (everyone who has a role walking down the aisle) in those colors.
Well, I have an autie and cousins (who I am very close with) who have said they are wearing burgundy too so they "fit in" — I don't want them to match the bridal party and I asked them to please choose other colors annnd now I feel like a total jerk. They weren't mad, but I feel blah about it all.
Should I have said nothing at all?! I know people will inevitably show up in black and burgundy, but to do it planned to "fit" doesn't feel appropriate.
Blah — I dont want to be a Zilla Help! Reality check please!
My husband and I had a dry wedding as 1) we are not big drinkers 2) we wanted to remember our day in it’s entirety (no artificial moments) and 3) our ceremony was at 9:00 am.
However, there was a bar next store to our venue. Guest actually left our venue to go next store and drink -.-
Rule number 9 for sure!
When my parents had their wedding my dads father and his new wife showed up super late and walked down the aisle IN FRONT OF MY MOM. The flower girl had already gone, eveyone was standing, the "here comes the bride" music had just sarted and they went in front of her. They walked down the entire aisle to take their seat at the front. My mom was furious.
The wedding had already started super late because my mom was left at the hairsalon (people were starting to think that she ran away) so the fact that they were that late really says a lot. (Although most of it was the new wifes fault she was a horrible person but still)
Unbreakable rule #11: Don't advertise your marijuana business at someone's wedding when specifically asked not to…..yea that happened at my wedding. We don't talk anymore
These could be true for other gatherings throughout life too like baby showers (currently pregnant here lol)… for example don’t say oh I need to add this person when invited to the party & just assume you can bring everyone… and also please just buy what’s on the registry 😩👏🏼
For these big life events often people spend hours curating a registry so buying other stuff instead while still thoughtful is annoying. Also, hear you on the small spaces thing! We currently full time RV, so we are definitely limited on space!
Jamie I have a question. As a bride, is it okay to ask for money instead of gifts? Can I just share my venmo to guests? I know it seems impersonal but my fiance and I already have a lot of things and don't really want more 'useless' items. I just don't want it to seem like a rude ask.
This is always so fun to watch when you’re from another country. If you don’t rsvp in Germany (at least the circles that I live in) we take that as "I don’t care I won’t come". (This doesn’t count for old forgetful grandparents ofc, they might not even know what a RSVP is)
I’ve been wondering about this and would love to hear your opinion: when there is a color related dress code (like “please wear purple”) what is the expectation? If you’re wearing a suit are you expected to buy/rent/borrow a purple suit? Or is a black suit with purple shirt and/or tie acceptable? What about a black dress with purple shawl? How literal should it be?
I link your video on wedding dress code on my website to help guest.
Today is my due by date for my wedding RSVPs most people haven’t responded 😅 going to hound them on facebook
As a wedding Photographer/videographer, I am not typically one to be petty. However, if you take photos on your phone during the ceremony after being told it was unplugged, you bet your A** im standing right in front of your view to take the photos I need. 🤷🏼♀️ Not sorry.
I’m so worried about guests not sending an RSVP and showing up on wedding day 🤦🏾♀️
I would add to the RSVP rule, if you say you’re coming please show up! One of my husband’s friends said he was coming and then decided to go to a music festival instead!!! We had a small (35) person wedding so I was super upset. If he had told me I could have invited someone else. In contrast, my friend told me when she RSVPd that she might not make it because she would be 8 months pregnant. I ended up inviting two more people last minute people when she told me she couldn’t come 3 weeks before the wedding.
I get married in 2 and a half months and I will throw down if I see someone with their camera out at my ceremony. I have an unplugged sign, it is written in the program, the celebrant will say it at the start and we're having a social media minute…but if I look up to see my loved ones as I make a life long commitment to my best friend and all I can see is my cousins phone above her head, I will legit stop the ceremony and let her have it. I'm not playing! It's so freaking rude! And if ANYONE posts photos on social media before we do…ooooh lord take the wheel!
I do not agree on strictly following the registry. Gifts are not a prerequisite and the registry is just a guideline to make it easier for the guests. Don’t get upset if someone buys something outside the registry, just be a graceful and grateful host.
But likewise, the gift-given cannot be upset if the couple sells the toaster owner because they already have one. You have given the gift and it is now the property of the other person to do with it as they want.
As a person who works in weddings. The average price per guest is around $250 for food and beverage in my area. Don’t bring extra guests and RSVP as soon as you can. And if you RSVP no, don’t just randomly show up! Kids count towards that price and most of our weddings don’t have kids other than during the ceremony portion, then they go with babysitters. Coming to the ceremony late is unbelievably rude. Stand outside and don’t disrupt the couple. It’s your fault you are late and people will notice you trying to sneak in. I even had a late couple ask us to bring in extra chairs half way through… omg. Dress codes are meant to be fun and for the people that don’t understand how to dress for a wedding type event, it’s helpful. Yes, don’t be the embarrassing drunk, drama guest, (it’s usually the parents lol).