Jamie Wolfer
9
These Rules are INSANE | Wedding Planner REACTS
https://www.wolferandco.com/yt/325/checklist
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Original REDDIT Post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/comments/1c7gmms/if_someone_sent_this_to_me_i_would_simply_just/
Don’t Plan ALONE. I gotchuu:
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35 comments
Honestly… is it odd that id want to go to their wedding willingly just so i can be nosy and watch what happens lol
4:13 — My sister had her first baby in the wee hours of the morning before our cousin's wedding. There was no question what would happen — it was Jennie's day, and we were going to keep our mouths shut. I don't know who spilled the beans, but it wasn't I. One of Jennie's grad school friends and I were chatting, and she said, "I heard someone in the family had a baby this morning…?" And what could I say but, "Yes, it was my sister. You can tell the people from our family. We're the ones with the happiest tears in our eyes. Jennie's vintage dress is gorgeous! Where did she find it?" I acknowledged the additional joyful event, expressed my own happiness, and steered the conversation back to the wedding immediately, and Jennies friend took the cue. I don't know why people think Southern ladies are passive-aggressive. It generally stems from basic tact.
Other than the rule about not sitting all day and what colors to wear, I agree with the rules. They could have been said in a different tone to be "nicer" but some of us come from families where people don't know how to act in public and need to be told these things.
My husband told the bartender to dilute two people's drinks since they're alcoholics, more as a precaution. We had no problem with them or anyone else. But also if you're this worried about people at your wedding maybe you're too immature to have a wedding and be married, and your guests are too immature.
I dont blame them for some of these rules. A lot of people are tacky and dumb and need to be told.
Wedding. Loreal. And. Tristan
Saunday. June24. 2024. Guests. 25. Times. Bride. Groom. 2:00. 6:00
Kid. Sister. Brother. Venue. Chair. Friend. Family. Need. Wedding. List. Jamie. Wolfe by. Watch. Of
Your Video
loreal. Bride. Tristan. Groom Saturday June24 2024
25. Guests. People. Sister. Brother.
Kid. Table table. Family. Sister. Brother. When venue. 2:00. 6:00
Picture. And video. Desert table.
Fruit. Table
I kind of feel they know their family, they saw this happen on other weddings and are just to keep people aware of their tendencies…
At first I didn’t realize that this was all for one wedding. I thought it was a compilation of ones from different weddings. That’s absolutely wild
As a disabled person, I would say scratch the "don't sit down all night" rule…
As a neurodivergent adult, AUDHD specifically, trust me…clear, cut, and straight to the point rules are the best way.
They could easily have a bunch of neurodivergent friends who don’t know anything about wedding etiquette who need to hear this list… the tone definitely could’ve been better, but the “don’t complain” social norm, to certain autistics, is not “common sense”. It’s 100% common sense to me as an AUDHDer but it’s not common to all neurodivergent/autistic people.
This is hilarious! Is anyone going back to the friends episode with the 2 parties where Monica is making everyone having ‘organised fun’ ….
"Hey, lets not get super drunk but also turn it all the way up and twerk your butts off." Totally not confusing at all. These people are probably of an adult age that has grown out of the wanting to twerk stage and probably need the liquid courage to act like they're 19 again.
Seems to me this must be tailor for a specific family or maybe a culture that is far more abrasive. Still could be worded much nicer or not at all!
The uncle that complains the music too loud, the guest that shows up in pink, the friends that just want to sit and visit (probably THIER version of a good time), and the person that may voice their opinion to you (they won't, it will be to someone else at their table), ultimately has no power over your day unless you give them that power by sending out a bunch of rudely worded rules.This person needs to get off of TikTok and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you, and if others have fun, you will have fun on your wedding day.
If I got an insulting and infantilising list of rules like this, I just wouldn't show up. No explanation.
Yeah some of these rules seem specific, like they're targeted at specific guests. 8 and 9 make it seem like OP has conservative or religious family members who will get on their case for having "profane" music. Some family members might even get upset with OP for playing that music even after the older/conservative guests have gone home ("it's still wrong even if no one was there to see it") 😅
If you need to make a list like this, maybe just elope given you cannot trust your guests to behave themselves.
Idk maybe I’m playing devils advocate but I feel like this person may have made these rules because they know their family members would act this way. Like it seems patronizing but I feel like this bride/groom felt the need to type these out because these members have DONE these things in the past…
I feel like the bride/groom are used to dealing with family that have very loud opinions and refuse to listen to common sense. But i don't think this should have been sent to everyone XD
VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION! We just booked our venue (finally) after a year of engagement, ready and excited to finally start planning…. And our date is 2 1/2 years away…. What and when do we do next! Is there anything I can get started planning to use our time well and stay excited while waiting a whole year for that slightly more appropriate 18 month mark?
I kinda get the one about getting in the photographer’s way. It makes me crazy when people are taking photos during the ceremony and they end up ruining an important shot that the paid photographer would’ve gotten. The rest of these sound like normal wedding anxieties that don’t really need to be said or could be said more kindly
That passive-aggressive statement about music is a cliche.Of people who are frustrated that their guests want some slow dance songs.
Wth??? I signed up for the Master Plan just now and can't get to the home page on my laptop or phone. I'm in tears. I sent understand what I'm doing wrong. It says I'm signed in but nothing happens when I click Go to Home Page. I thought this was supposed to make my life easier. 😭
Just says, "Please refrain from brining any liquor to the reception as it goes against the rules outlined by the venue. This was outlined in our contact and violation could result in the reception being forced to conclude early."
"We are thrilled you will be there with us to celebrate our big day and when your time in the spotlight comes, we will be equally thrilled to be there for you. However, please refrain from making any major announcements that might distract from our special moment."
"Uncle Bob, please keep Aunt Babs limited to three drinks, to avoid another incident like the one which occurred at last year's 4th of July gathering. We would like to avoid the 911 calls."
Me if I was at this wedding, wearing my blue dress, 3 margaritas deep, and asking the DJ to play something different "fuck you, I won't do what ya tell me!" 😅
But really. I wouldn't even go lol.
@tsherrod7452 Besides the word "twerk", what other words are commonly used by the Black community / Black culture that are also used in this list? Based on your assumption that this is a black familys wedding, she isnt allowed to have an opinion? But she could have an opinion if it was a white familys wedding or an indian familys wedding or an asian familys wedding? She is a wedding planner. Part of her channel is to do videos on stuff related to weddings. Not to disengage in content because there is a presumption that the person who wrote the post "might" be a different skin color. I disagree in the theory of microaggression. If you want to personally feel attacked by something you are 100% allowed to feel that way. But in the same breath, wouldnt that be you making something a microagression against Jamie (the video creator) because your assumption is that she knows nothing about Black culture? You dont know if she has family members or friends that are Black. She made this video to break down a bridezilla, not to come across as a "microaggressive" white woman.
As a wedding photographer, I literally had a wedding last weekend where the DJ had to announce that guests go back to there assigned tables for dinner. The venue had a premade list of which meals went to which table and enough people had moved to another table that it delayed dinner.
Bonus: a lot of the guests took a seating place card which clearly had a sticker of what there meal was and after sitting down just threw them away. So again the DJ had to announce that everyone put there place card at there table.
Lol I love how one of the rules was "pace yourself with drinking" and another was "turn allllll the way up". Like, make up your mind girl! hahaha.
Most of list was terrible. But I will say in the day and age of the internet, there are far too many stories where people have shown up to a wedding wearing white, or making a surprise pregnancy announcement during their speech, or doing whatever they want in terms of moving seats or bringing their own liquor. Some of her requests are patronizing, but common sense isn't as common as we once thought anymore. However, with that being said, I still don't think this was the appropriate way to do this…….. Some items could have been included on a wedding website and there are graceful ways to have the DJ / MC make announcements to be mindful of the photographer and encourage everyone on the dance floor in a fun way without being rude to guests. I don't think I would be attending a wedding and giving a gift if I got a rude invitation like this.
First off, I dont wear black as my neutral, I wear Navy as my basic. Also I don’t have anything formal after covid (weight gain) so I would buy a dress to wear once.
But this list immediately reminded me of emails my last company would send to everyone and then when I would question the email the director would say the email didn’t pertain to me, and I would ask why it was sent to me then, and they would say we have to send it to everyone. I would then bring up we signed an employee handbook and our job requirements. This is an individual issue, not a passive aggressive poorly worded email to all. It is not good for moral.
This is the stupidest list😂, that bride definitely listed out all of the crap that COULD go wrong, but that was incredibly rude. I straight up wouldn’t go just cuz of the list, and cuz I definitely wouldn’t give a gift. Don’t piss of your guests home slice🤷🏻♀️😂
Might be an unpopular opinion, but if you have people who will drink too much, ruin your life by criticising everything and won't like the vibe of the party – don't invite them
Coming from someone who has a family group (parents and siblings especially) that have the need to be centre of attention, toxic, overbearing etc…. these "rules" seem like a great idea.😅
I agree with almost everything the couple said but they could have phrased it differently. However I think this is probably due to their family have done these items before at a wedding so they are trying to make clear boundaries. It is not a rule to use a hashtag but we will heavily influence people to post their photos and videos in the photo circle we have made. The sitting down one I don't care what they do as long as they are having fun.