Jamie Wolfer
3
Small Wedding, BIG Problems
https://www.wolferandco.com/yt/230/checklist
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Small Wedding, BIG Problems
Don’t Plan ALONE. I gotchuu:
https://www.wolferandco.com/tmp
Videos Mentioned // Suggested:
Guest List | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlVbiCK44Jo
DARK…
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46 comments
Haha I sooo feel this! Looking to get a party of 50 together in a big family and I am hesitant of that conversation with my 100+ family! We cannot afford/don't want to invite that many people!!!!
I just got engaged in front of my family. 3 minutes after I said yes, my grandma started on about how my great aunt will be offended if she’s not invited. Lord help me
I had a very small wedding—-just 30 people. My husband had just re-enlisted in the Army (it was the only job he could find that would support us) and we had to throw a wedding together quickly, so we'd be married by his report date and qualify for post housing. It was a sweet wedding and family and friends pitched in to help with the cake, flowers, decorations, photography and food for afterwards. It was not the wedding I'd dreamed of, but it taught me that the wedding is only an hour long and one day out of your life. You have the rest of your lives to be married and that has been my focus. I have been happily married to my husband and best friend going on 32 years. Sure, it would have been nice to have the big white dress and walk down the aisle as the center of attention with a couple of hundred people to witness it but who is your wedding for? Is it to show off to your girlfriends and people you barely know or is it to be with the person you love?
Stop talking seriously 🤦♀️💀
i want 40 people my fiance wants 65 . ugh . no we dont need random highschool frined you havent seen in 2 years
I cant believe ppl are actually getting mad that u cant afford to pay $100+ to cover their partying and food. 😅
My wedding is in less than 70 days. We invited 50 but apparently people are seeing a plus one on the invites THAT ARE TOTALLY NOT THERE!! There’s been multiple people who were invited just that person and they have sending in RSVP’s with a date coming as well….. We don’t have plus one’s on the invite. This is small personal wedding. We don’t want strangers. How do we tell them DON’T BRING PEOPLE?!? 😭
Please do a talk on 2nd or subsequent weddings. A lot of our issues are a bit different, especially if our first wedding was years ago and we are astounded at how the different the industry is now.
I was going to do 300 guest and dropped it to 60 guest 4 months before my wedding date. We're having our ceremony during dinner time. 6pm-10pm private dinner after ceremony same place. After party (city downtown).
Love the idea of a welcome dinner for out of towers! How would you word it if you're not paying for them but they can still stop by to see you, like you mentioned in the video?
The moment someone has an opinion about the wedding I'm planning and paying for… is the moment I explode LOL.
Yeah I struggled SOOO hard thinking I was going to do a small wedding, and it ended up being 96 people. And I really wish we just paid a little more and had 150 people at the first venue we saw. We used a recreational hall in the woods at my country house area, and it was a crappy shoot everyone says they had a great time but I haven't been able to make peace with it. Like for example the music didn't play when I came out, I literally didn't have music play when I the bride walked out, no one could be heard in terms of cousins siblings best friends bridesmaids OUR DAD's making speeches!!! It's so upsetting and everyone's response is "Well hey you're married now!" like as if my day didn't matter I wasn't a bridezilla I wasn't asking for much I really didn't need or want much I just wanted my day to go smoothly the photographer got a few good shots, but like I the bride rangled everyone family friends etc for pictures I did NOT get a pictures with my parents I repeat I didn't get a picture with my parents! I tried so hard to do a down the middle so I could afford a house one day. And like I thought of this like we did the courthouse first in our home state and then drove a few weeks later to my country house to do the wedding with more people. And to be honest like the courthouse was the best cause we went to a resteraunt and had a blast and I wish we'd just rented out that resteraunt had friends and family come there, and enjoy it there and have a DJ there and such and a photographer I almost wish I could have a do over.
My godmother is trying to insert herself into my life and hints around that she’s expecting an invite, but her and my mom are not on good terms and I feel she’s a narcissist that will cause major drama whether I invite her or not. Like she’ll either ruin the wedding if she comes or will have serious vengeance and there will be no amount of reasoning with her of why we wanted to cut our guest list down as much as possible. I just dread making any decision.
How do I get rid of a dramatic bridesmaid? I'm letting her pick her dress it's long so idc for shoes she is jealous because she can't walk with my boyfriend who is the best man she is very helpful with everything but every that the bridal party has to do she freaks out and makes things harder for me
My fiancé and I are getting married in December and we got engaged this October. Our wedding is going to be beautiful and perfect and we are spending about 500$. He is an organist and so we are getting married at his church job and his choir is singing with his boss, a bishop, marrying us. There is a bed and breakfast next door and the owner is in his choir and so our reception venue is free. I am wearing my mothers dress and I used to work at mens wearhouse and so my co workers are helping me get his tux for next to nothing. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. His aunt is making the cake and his uncle is a wedding photographer. The rings we got at an estate sale and switched out the stone on mine for a diamond by a church parishioner. We are so so lucky to have a community that roots for us and wants to help us on our big day 🙂
Hi, Jamie. We have this idea of doing a private ceremony (literally me, him, the officiant) and a small (40-50 max) reception, no first dances, no same-day wedding video presentation (not our vibe). We're a generally mellow couple and so are most of our family and friends, but is it doable without it being boring? Do we need something like a dance floor wrangler?
30 at most is my guest list.
wedding win: found a venue that included food, drinks, officiant, coordinator, tables, flatware, glassware, ceremony site, reception site, dressing suites, and a honeymoon suite for under $8K! All we need to get is a photographer/videographer, florals/decor (probably DIY), and our apparel 🙂
I am planning a small 26-person guest list (including me and my fiance HA), so this was a great video!
It would be amazing to get some advice on a 20-25 guest wedding. We are wanting a wedding weekend with just our immediate families and his best friend as the officiant, which will be exactly 20 people (I have a large family lol). We know it will be amazing no matter what BUT how can we make sure the evening of the actual ceremony still feels like a wedding and not just a party?
Lol we are inviting 34 people to our nuptial mass wedding ceremony and then going to a private room at a snazzy steakhouse downtown . But weddings add up ! We are having people pay for their own dinner – and we are still going to be over 5,000 for everything. Our wardrobe and our wedding bands were the largest chunks of money AND the photographer/ videographer
😡wedding planning frustration: venues list their venue as BYO and then you visit the venue and they say it’s BYO from this list of 14 preferred vendors…..um ma’am that is NOT BYO……
Hi Jamie, it's been such a long time since I've seen one of your videos, you are still such a powerhouse of positivity! Haha 🙂 great vid xx
My husband and I planned our small wedding in 41 days and with a $2000 budget. We are so lucky to live in Las Vegas! I found a cute, simple chapel that had room for our 20 guests (just immediate family, his grandma, and our 4 friends/roommates). Everybody was visible in our photos and video. We rented a private room at an Indian restaurant and ordered a local cake. My brother’s friend set up our decorations at the restaurant while we were still at the chapel. We brought our own drinks (no alcohol, just glass bottles of soda).
I’m having a 40 people wedding and the biggest problem is finding a venue that don’t have crazy high minimums. All our dreams venue were out of the question and we end up have a destination wedding instead.
OMG SO TRUE!! I have so many people upset we are having a morning wedding.
Win: I get to plan a wedding with and marry the most amazing person.
Fail: we both agree we should have just had a small ceremony with just the two of us.
i only know like 20 people and i dont like 10 of them i dont think ill have a problem with who to invite
Eloping with less than 20 people (including us) and I am on wedding day timeline #5 because me, the photographer, and the venue owner can’t seem to all agree on how that day should go….. and I am about to say screw it. You can keep the $500 venue booking fee and we’re just self solomozing in a park for free lol
We did immediate family only (parents, siblings, nieces/nephews)– 20 people total. Luckily it was in a backyard so we didn't have to worry about venue. We did it "big" as far as decorations, food, photo, etc. for just our small group and it was awesome. I LOVED our small wedding and would do it all over again in a heartbeat! That being said- I have some extended family that were extremely upset and offended, to the point of completely changing their relationship with me and my parents. Friends and most extended family, on the other hand, were extremely supportive and truly happy for us. My now husband and I are so happy with our choices and are glad we stuck to our decisions. At the end of the day it's your wedding and you can literally do WHATEVER you want, WHATEVER makes you and your partner happy. You can share pictures and videos and stories with everyone who couldn't attend later!
Call me selfish but I've always wanted an intimate wedding, kinda small (60 ish guest) but I do not care who's feelings I hurt (respectfully). Although this is a special where two families are coming together, at the end of the day it is about me and my fiancé. I am in the process of planning my destination wedding and I was set and stone that I was not going to be inviting family members I say hi to like 3 times a year or only see during the holidays and no I am not sorry about it. I will not put my feelings below someone else's, it just doesn't make sense to me.
I'm in the very beginning stages of planning a 40 person destination wedding. This video was very helpful!
Worst wedding failure: I lost my ring :’(
Wedding win: Made myself go wedding dress shopping. Wedding fail: Every single dress has a plunging neckline which does not suit my tata's, my wedding vibe, or my MIL's vision lmao.
Agree, if he or I haven't seen or spoken to you in the last 3yrs (because of the pandemic) you're not invited. Or make them Zoom only invite. My parents had less than 10 people, including the officiant, at their Jamaican wedding in 1969. She tells me all the time to elope.
Jamie mentioned that she did a 15k wedding video. I can’t seem to find it. Can anyone help me with that?
My wedding is in about a month.
Wins:
*My dress still fits after buying it 2years ago and gaining weight.
*We found an amazing live musician that we can afford 😮
*Foods amazing
Loses…lemme keep those to myself for now. What we focus on, we attract. Lemme first attract my dream wedding with 60 guests excl us then reflect.
PS :
I could not have been so chilled without Jamie. When it all gets too much. I binge watch JW in bed with popcorn or on the couch.
Jamie you have been a lifesaver,a digital shoulder to cry on and always there to deliver the proper food at the proper time.
I’m so glad we’re doing a small wedding. For our 30 person wedding, we rented our neighborhood community center! $350 each day for two days.
Holy cow, do people have opinions and expectations about weddings, especially if you're the bride! I felt so bad for my brother and my sister-in-law; the moment they decided on their wedding date, she got bombarded with "you've got to do this" and "you MUST have that!" and "no WAY a wedding cake can be chocolate!" and even "of COURSE you're having a reception – you're my ONLY DAUGHTER, how can you NOT have one??". The result was that my brother and sis-in-law spent way more than they had originally planned, were stressed out of their minds, didn't even enjoy their own party, got sick during the honeymoon, and took six months to recover. On top of all that, their album didn't come out the way they wanted it to, and even after five years later, they're still bitter.
When it came to my wedding, though, I got suuuuuuuuper lucky; I live far away from most of my family, and only my mom came over to help me out. Even though she respected my wishes, she STILL had some expectations, and we had to have some difficult chats. Best advice I got was from a seamstress I talked to: "when it comes to your wedding, you don't "have to" anything!". In the end, our original plans went belly-up because of covid, and we instead got a 13-people wedding that was absolutely everything I could have wanted and more. And the main driver for what came out to be the actual wedding? My absolute queen of a sister-in-law, who went after everything for me and made sure that, even though it was a tiny wedding, it still looked perfect.
I was so happy and grateful for what she'd done and about my wedding, I thought I wanted to do something to maybe hellp her remember her wedding in a more positive way. I asked to see pictures of their wedding (which I hadn't really looked through), and went over all the details and told my sis how beautiful and amazing everything was. If y'all got any ideas of what I can do for her, please let me know! I thought maybe asking if she has any favorite photos of her wedding that she'd like in a frame or something, or maybe I can pay to have her album redone?
Wedding win: We've had a lot of financial support from our families.
Wedding fail: My coordinator service just switched coordinators on me 2 weeks before my wedding. I haven't met the new coordinator nor has she seen my venue. Kind of freaking out about that lol
Minimums!!!! Ugh. Killed me. I couldn't believe how many businesses would turn down my money! It made me feel so sad and unimportant. I had 25 people at my wedding and I did almost everything myself. It turned out amazing! I wouldn't change a thing. But I wish I could have avoided those feelings during the planning period.
I'm getting married out of state on a Wednesday. This allows for cheaper venue costs, cheaper airfare, cheaper hotels for everyone. plus, if people want to stay for vacation they have their weekend open. Choosing an out of state, weekday wedding allowed me to have an open invitation wedding. I've already had some No RSVPs. our wedding is next June.
I live in a rural area so I fortunately didn't run into any minimums for my 25 person wedding. Good notes about the dancefloor and lighting! I would agree. Some advice for anyone planning a wedding at a house or small venue – make sure you really think about the little tasks that need to get done and communicate/delegate accordingly. If my sweet mother in law had not swooped in, a lot of things would not have gotten done!
We invited around 70 people, not really intentionally keeping it under that number but trying to only invite the people we really would want there/close to and “knew” would show up. Ending up with roughly 60 saying they are going to be there. I think it will be a great number (one month away from my wedding date!😮), it’s not too big or too small and we kept the food budget at a good price with a more high end option. Luckily we were able to find vendors that didn’t have any minimums so that wasn’t an issue but also DIYing the drinks, venue decorations, invites, DJ and no wedding planner. It will be a little less traditional and more relaxed vibe hopefully but that’s what we wanted-less pressure to be so formal and more PARTY!
I had a 12 person wedding and it was amazing! Brother in law was the photographer, sister in law officiated, spoitify playlist for a DJ, grocery store flowers, and a FANTASTIC restaurant that provided the cake and decorations. It was more of a dinner party vibe. Did the first dance but otherwise no dancing. Pretty much no stress. Small weddings are best!
A wedding guest list should never be discussed to everyone. I once coordinated for a good friend for a home wedding and my first question was how many people (second was budget)and my friend said oh I guess about 100 people. After my 2nd question regarding budget I re asked her to reconsider the guests. I asked her count immediate family and immediate parents, her and his children and forsure immediate family like some very close cousins then I had her count closest friends meaning those who are diehard friends (known for years) and last to count was significant others of everyone. We got the number down to 60 and planned food , tables, drinks and so on and who showed up was about 30 people. The problem was the guest list inflated due to others family members input because the guest list.. it was discussed. My overall count would have been fine at 40 guest. One thing to remember is to trust your planner trust them. A small wedding is a small wedding. Let it be memorable with those who truly love you.
We had a guest list of only 40 people and it was just as stressful as if we had 200. We still managed to spend $25,000 and 3 months post wedding I'm still getting "why wasn't I invited???" and still getting the opinions! The wedding has been over for 3 months like everyone let it go! My biggest thing was"you're not having dancing? What are we gonna do?". We had a photo booth, ballerina performance, full open bar, rehearsal dinner, and post wedding brunch to make it a fully inclusive experience.
My fiance and I are getting married in almost 5 weeks. We invited 25 people each unfortunately only 2 of my cousins from my original list are coming with their kids. I decided not to invite my uncles and aunts to be a drama free wedding. I added one more cousin and his family that lives far away that will try to come. I hate making someone travel over a day just for my wedding. I was really hurt when my guests declined and some flat out never responded. One of my cousin's husband even blocked me. I had sent my cousin via messenger the save the dates and the invitations, I had invited them both to the fb event private page. At first I didn't want to invite anyone on my side did fear or rejection and drama. Sad that it became true. I'm getting over that now. I'm an introvert and don't like big crowds. So far we have 34 people coming (including guest's children). We don't think our wedding will exceed $4000. Most of the cost went into my wedding dress, accessories for it and alterations, then the church venue was close second but it includes reception area. We plan to have pizzas delivered because it's cheap and easy. We are going to have a cake made by a grocery store. I opted of florals all together because I feel like it's a waste of money. I would much rather save that money towards a future honeymoon. I did get 2 wood flowers bouquet from sola flowers for my maid of honor and me that turned out amazing and looks real. I'll get to keep mine for years to come not just one day. I'll do my own makeup. My hair will be done for about $35 by a hairdresser that my future step mother in law offered to cover. For decor I am reusing some of my fall existing fall decor. Our venue prohibits alchool, smoking and live candles. Some guests might not like that but they were warned. I didn't want to do paper save the dates and paper invites but we did for the 5 elderly guests. It cost more because most places only sell those in 25 qty. We didn't do favors, guest book etc because those little costs add up. We did hire a photographer for 3 hours (1 hour is photographer getting ready and taking stuff down). She has several years of experience and only charged us $600 which is really affordable. we planned this wedding with us in mind, we are simple people and don't need much to be happy. I'm just glad that after nearly 4 years of dating on we will get married on our dating anniversary.