Jamie Wolfer
2
How to Pick Your BRIDAL PARTY
https://www.wolferandco.com/yt/49/checklist
⬆️ Download ⬆️ Your ULTIMATE Wedding Planning Checklist
Second Channel is LIVE!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTRaE_KGIgf2i62-NW4EYA
My Big Ol’ Curls GRWM
https://youtu.be/_Zku6vG8_T0
Title Photo by Katie Branch
source
44 comments
Unfortunately, of all the girls i want in my bridal party, only 1 lives near me. But we're in texas, so "near" is literally 4 hours away. The rest live across the country in Minnesota.
Since i want to invite way more people to the wedding than my husband anyhow, he agreed we could have the wedding in MN. We acknowledged i would be far more devastated than he would be if my guests couldnt fly across the country. But that also means we have to plan a destination wedding 🙁 i have 0 clue who to elect as my maid of honor, one of the girls i have a much longer friendship with in MN or the only girl in TX whom I have the newest friendship with but see and talk to the most consistently.
Its so hard 😢❤
I honestly will probably have twenty to thirty people in my bridal party. Because I have tried over and over to cut and narrow down the list it's impossible for me. I know that just because they're not in the wedding party doesn't mean I don't care about them but I know for myself I can't cut down the list. All of these people I've known a year or more and some of them my entire life. That's just me and when the time comes I hope to make that work.
I didn’t fake my time lol
I can’t decide to keep it smaller with 3, 7, or add my high school friends and do 10! I just was in two weddings last year even though they live kind of far.. so I just can’t decide. I am feeling a lot of pressure to “choose” people who might be in my life forever. And I don’t have a magic ball so how do I pick! Hahaha
When my friends C and D got married, C (the bride) had about 10 bridespeople (1 a bridesman, her brother in a shirt the same color as the bridesmaids' dresses; the rest were bridesmaids, including but not limited to her sisters) while D (the groom) had about 5 groomsman. If I recall correctly, the wedding party walked out 3 at a time, with 2 bridesfolk per groomsman.
When my friends B and K got married, B (the bride) had 2 bridesmaids while K (the groom) had 2 groomsmen.
When my friends A and K got married, they had a flower girl (I don't know how they know her) and their just-a -few-years-younger brothers as ring bearers.
My parents are trying to pressure me into asking my future sister in law to be my bridesmaid… But this is very awkward for me. I had my bridesmaids picked out in my mind literally months before we even got engaged. I've always known I didn't want loads of them – I'm having my best friend as maid of honour. My currently sister in law (brothers wife who I'm very close with and see, on my own and go for days out with, as a great friend), and my mums best friends daughter – who is a couple of years older than me and whom I literally grew up with, I've known her since I was born! – those 2 are my other bridesmaids. Just the 3 in total. I asked them months ago today be my bridesmaids and they all said yes which I'm so happy and excited about
Anyway, fast forward to last week… My mum and dad call me to ask how our wedding planning is going. They then tell me that my younger brothers fiance will feel left out if she is not bridesmaid too. She's a lovely person and I get on really well with her, I just don't want her to be my bridesmaid. I told them this, and told them truthfully that if I was having another bridesmaid there is no way I'd ask her without also having to ask my fella's sister too. Who arguably I get on with better than anyone else after my 3 special women… I pointed out how unfair it is. I also said very clearly I do not want 5 bridesmaids. So my parents changed tack and said why don't me and my fiancé give those two women, the future sister in laws on each side, who I didn't ask to be in my bridal party, another job to do and a dress to wear which is the same as each other (and maybe a diff colour as the Bridesmaids). I said we can't afford that. My parents said they'll pay for their dresses… I told my fiancé and he said no way. I've chosen the ladies I want and that's it. He said in fact asking his sister and my younger brothers fiancé to be honourary Bridesmaids with some random made up job for them will feel like an afterthought. And it'll be worse, significantly worse to do that to them than it would be to just not have them at all. They are wedding guests. They are special to us.
I feel that it's unfair of my parents to try to influence my decisions on it… It's not something I just threw together, I thought carefully about each of my Bridesmaids and I'm so happy with my choice.
My parents are worried about people feeling left out but everyone is adults… So surely they'll be fine…?
Rant over 😂 I'd be interested to know what the rest of you think and particularly Jamie if you do get to see this comment?
I was going to ask if you could give a refresher to this video but after watching this video you have definitely helped me out. I’m trying to plan for a small wedding but have 14 ppl in the bridal party and I thought woah this is way too much but it makes the friend dynamic equal. And your last rule is what make things clear for me. Thank you Jamie!!
I chose my party based on the women who shaped me as a person and had relationships that exemplified real true love. This one wife of my fiances groomsmen party was livid she wasnt in my bridal party and i was so confused. Like why are you pressed when you dont even know my middle name. 😒
I have 4 bridesmaids and my fiancé will have 6 groomsmen!
Our bridal party is all our children. We each have 4 from a previous marriage. No dealing with adults and their opinions or worrying about them getting offended because they aren’t part of the party.
It’s not entirely true that you don’t need a bridal party. You still need two witnesses.
I had two of my daughters as maids of honor and my husband had one of my daughters and his best friend as "best men" 🤣
We are getting married in 19 days eeee! We each have 5, I have 2 close friends, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my childhood best friend. He has his older brother as BM and friends. We kept it simple with rentals for the suit wearers and my 2 ladies just had to stick with the color scheme (black) but style/length/shoes etc doesn't matter. I always enjoy your content, thank you!
Ok
I conveyed my minimal expectations to my bridal party (my siblings and my bff — I have a lot of sisters I couldn't not ask to be in the party I and preferred to keep my party small), and they still gave me pushback about literally everything and didn't even plan me a bachelorette party )= I talked about budgets when them, the color I wanted their dresses, the one style I did not want them to wear, the boutique we would shop at after determining budgets, and tried to say what I wanted for the bridal and bachelorette parties, and every single time they caused me stress and didn't listen to me (especially my mom, who decided she was in the bridal party and took over planning everything about planning the bridal shower, which she insisted had to be a surprise without asking me for even my availability), and I had to plan my own bachelorette party because I found out 5 or 6 weeks out from the wedding that beyond one very brief conversation, my bridal party didn't discuss it at all. I felt so small learning that and finding out from my MOH what my own sisters were saying about me behind my back. My personal recommendation would be to make sure you have a friend on board who can take charge, especially if you have a pushy family or members of the party who are passive people.
Already picked out my bridal party.. I just love Jamie's energy! Happy to report my small little bridal party (4 on each side) does fit in the guidelines Jamie gave!
My younger sister did not ask me…I'm beyond hurt and devastated.
We are just going to have my kids double as ringbearer/flower girl and bridal party. We have both moved around a lot in our lives and though we have quite a few acquaintances and get along with most people, we are quite private people with few deep friendships. We are planning a small affair with family and a few close friends
Such an exceptionally thorny subject for the bride especially ime anyway ~ That said thank goodness that’s not in my culture though not necessarily completely unheard of either phew.
I was a groomsmen for my sisters wedding. l live in Florida and she lives in California. The only thing i attended was the Rehearsal, Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding. My sister had a bachelorette party for her bridesmaids and maid of honor (there were only a total of 3 of them). I don't think my brother-in-law had a bachelor party.
I'm having 5. 3 of my sister, his sister and a friend who I was a bridesmaid for 😩😩😩😩. If not that I would have had just the family
Love your videos!! I’m not even engaged but I know it’s in the near future and I want to be prepared because I know how my family is. Lol. My bf and I want to opt for a no bridal party, and have our immediate families enter, almost like a parade, before we enter the ceremony. So they still get to feel part of it, but no hurt feelings for being selective with the bridal party.
I also know that a couple of my brides maids might not be able afford their dresses so I am willing to pay for them but how do I convey this so that not all brides maids think I can just buy everyone's dresses??? Also I know my best friends since middle school, the one who will be my maid of honor doesn't have the to do all the brides maid duties but my second best friend who was just going to be a brides maid, can I make her a secondary maid of honor cause i know she will gladly so all of the things…
Seriously though, my fiancé was like we should elope and small wedding. now that we are planning our guest list and bridal party count went up because he keeps adding to it! lol they're so cute.
My fiance and I are planning this out still. We have many more gal friends than guys, so we are going to have "bridesmaids" and "bride tribe" for pretty much all of the reasons mentioned. My maid of honor lives a couple states away, so she won't be able to help out as much. And I do not want people to feel obligated to spend money they don't have. But I will be asking them to help me out especially if they live close to me and the venue (just… Without the obligations).
Zero bridal party on either side, super easy and simple 🥰
My fiance has no friends, and will not have a best man/woman. I have tried not to pressure him at all because we're having a small wedding of maybe 15 people, but I am having my sis as my maid of honor.
Can you make a video of different ways to incorporate people in the wedding without making them a bridesmaid / groomsmen?
My best friend I met in 7th grade, my other best friend I met around when I graduated high school (12 years ago), my fiancé’s sister, my sister, and another friend of mine I have been friends with since 2010. Havnt asked anyone yet but that’s who I want. And my first best friend from 7th grade will be my maid of honor.
I know this video is older, but I figured why not just take a shot in the dark. My future sis in law is my best friend and will be my MOH. My twin cousins (one of which I am a bridesmaid for her wedding) are my bridesmaids. I know I may get some negativity in not having my own sister in my party, but it’s because our relationship is off and on… and she is exhausting to be around. Her personality is so different than mine and although I love her, she sucks the life out of me. Should I be feeling the guilt of not having her up there with me or can I still be a good person and not have her in my party?
My sister was so against being a bridezilla that she refused to stress even when she should have at least a little bit. Her planner was SO incompetent and when i tried to help she shut me down saying she wasn't going to stress about it. Result: WEEK OF THE WEDDING, there's no list with all the guests names, there's no music for the processional, there's no timeline for the party, the bouquet was completely forgotten, and a million things like that. And as she didn't want to stress herself out, I did EVERYTHING for her. Gave her my own wedding playlist, called around to sort out the little things, begged the florist to take some flowers from the centerpieces for the bouquet and all that. Come the wedding day she had 22 people in her bridal party. To say that I felt unimportant and rejected while her husband's friends' girlfriends were standing beside her in bridesmaids photos is an understatement. Not that I wanted special attention, but being by my sister's side in at least one of the pictures of the bridal party would have been nice.
5 on each side. Unfortunately I will not be asking my sister as she has bad mouthed my fiancee and I have no time for negative vibes.
Do i have to have a bachlerete party? Lol i got a baby and a three year old xD and with covid its hard to go out.
We mean to continue the way we begin. There will be no rewards for coercion/pressure/emotional manipulation, future mother in law included! Also, no expecting the woman's family/friends to pay, plan and serve while the man and his family/friends just show up. It's ridiculous for a bridesmaid to do more than the person getting married.
Yo do u have any advice for people who have fathers but don’t necessarily want their dad to give them away? Like that whole thing just makes me feel weird as a concept personally, that’s just me tho. And also I don’t have a great relationship with my dad although it’s not completely horrible. Hes not a deadbeat and my parents are still together, but we are extremely not close. Like we don’t speak rlly at all. But I still don’t like wish bad things for him and I don’t want him to be hurt that I don’t want him to give me away, but like damn it just seems so weird and uncomfortable to me. Like I’d rather my mom give me away or like literally anyone else I’m close with. It just feels like a weird moment to have basically a person u barely known but r technically related to to be walking beside u. Like the tension would be weird if I go with it but also the tension will be weird if I say no
I have no friends
Wish I’d seen this video before we picked! I need help breaking the news to someone in my party that they need to step down due to their constantly toxic injections 🙁
I really want to have a 10 person wedding party, 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen, and then a maid of honor and a best man.
I'm struggling with this. The video, though helpful, made me more anxious. My partner wants people to stand with them… But I don't. For lots of reasons (all my closest friends live far away, family too, there will be drama). I don't want to tell my partner they should drop the party because it means a lot to them, but I don't want to look lame standing all my myself… 😞
I had to remove a bridesmaid as she was really bossy. Also.. my fiancé, mom, and two other bridesmaids did not like her.
8
I would love to see the pics of you and your wedding party! We’re going to have 20 in ours and I was wondering what that looked like in pics. Thank you!! 🙂
I had about 6 bridesmaids originally (all my sisters, sister in-law, niece and 2 friends) I was so frickin excited but ended up cutting everyone except my moh bc they just didn’t seem to care. It blew . They didn’t make any effort at all
When I get married I know for sure I will include my 3 sisters, 2 of my closest girlfriends, my husband to be had a sister(s) I may include at least one, and finally I’m considering adding my cousin as a junior bridesmaid. As far as ring bearers and flower girls I would choose my little cousins who are actually the 3 younger siblings of the junior bridesmaids as one of the flower girls and her little two brothers as my ring bearers and for my final flower girl one my bridesmaids is having a little girl soon and I would actually pick her.