Jamie Wolfer
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AITA for BANNING My 5 year old SISTER? | Wedding Planner REACTS
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Original Reddit Thread:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dsusxx/aita_for_banning_my_5_year_old_sister_from_my/
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22 comments
Op made an insane update post. I hope they make another one about how the wedding went and if the 5 yo was there. But I think kid definitely needs therapy. It’s one thing if it happened a couple times at the beginning and then was disciplined and learnt better. But she hasn’t and won’t unless someone else steps in. And that’s not going to be the dad
I adore you Jamie 💖 I'm subscribed to both of your channels, & I've been married for 2 years now (watched your videos while we were planning!) & I can’t bring myself to unsubscribe because I love you so much. 🥰
I HATE to say this, but we live in such a sick world that I can’t rule it out…is O.P. certain that the relationship between her sister and Fiancé is entirely appropriate?
In the "four parenting styles" model, gentle parenting is authoritative parenting, not permissive parenting. I think the name (and some way too lenient parents online) makes it sound a lot more permissive than it really is. There are VERY firm boundaries, but with open communication.
Here are all four styles:
Demand = discipline & rules, Responsiveness = communication, involvement
Authoritative = high demand, high responsiveness
Authoritarian = high demand, low responsiveness
Permissive = low demand, high responsiveness
Neglectful = low demand, low responsiveness
I have lots of feelings about this whole situation but will stick the point. Perhaps she could have her attend the wedding with the understanding that these behaviors will not be tolerated. If she starts to display these behaviors at the wedding she will be removed. She will need to have an adult who is responsible for her and removing her from the situation if needed. And definitely also needs therapy at the very least.
You can't take a child to the doctor if you're not their legal guardian. The best thing OP could do is talk to the sister's school and see if they can do some sort of counseling with her.
You should like at my post in AITA for not allowing my future MIL to our marriage proposal
I agree with the commenters: the five year old seems to be really attached to her sister’s fiancé, as if he’s the father figure she wants, but isn’t getting in her life. I hope she gets the help she needs and that her and her siblings get a lot more attention from their actual parents, not their older sister-in-a-mother role.
My two youngest brothers are so much younger than me that i am halfway a sister and halfway a second mother. I paid for chiropractic appointments for one of them when my parents didn't think it was a big deal, I thought it was. My mom is not neglectful, but she has a messed up perspective on pain. She thinks you shouldn't spend money on it when you could just put up with it for free.
Sometimes you spend money on children who aren't your children bc you love them that much, and their well-being is that important.
She likely can't get the kid therapy without the parent's ok. It depends on the laws where she lives.
The adult sibling is not going to be able to consent for her to be in therapy. The parent would have to sign the consent form with the therapist.
Kids are insanely smart. I would straight up tell my 5 year old little sister “I love you but if you continue to behave like this you will not be able to come to our wedding.” Period. If you’ve set boundaries with this child they will listen. If they know they can pull one on you, they will. And that’s on you.
Can you react to AITA for charging a bride more for make up when the og price we agreed on was lower?
There’s an update post too. It’s not very long but sounds like CPS needs to be involved
Spicy red lip for spicy content thats a good one. Also that red lipstick is absolutely gorgeous on you!!
The update was the little sister saw the boyfriend help the big sister and lost her nut and pushed big sister and she fell. She ended up being hospitalised for days.
I saw this story a while ago it is in best of Redditor updates and honestly there is some scary stuff. Nothing else about the wedding but yeah OP tries their best.
In case anyone is curious, the abbreviation Jamie didn't recognize, "dx'd", means diagnosed, eg. 'diagnosed with attachment disorder'. It's a medical abbreviation really common in doctor's notes and the like.
The dad needs the therapy, not the kid. Five year olds don't make sustainable changes w/out parental participation and buy-in. This is a parenting issue, not a child issue.
The big flaw in your advice to 0P, is that she cannot by law take the child for therapy without parental consent/participation.
ETA- I am the adoptive parent of 3 psychologically damaged children. (The dx's ranged from ADHD, PTSD, RAD, ODD, PAD, PDDNOS , and those are just the highlights.
commenting at 7min mark. i wonder if fiance doing a kid proposal to the 3 children would help the relationship, esp with the 5yr old?
If not therapy this little girl needs a grown up to sit her down and explain why this is not acceptable behavior. When I was kid if this was a situation my mother( I know the op’s mom is kinda absent from it all) would have straight up told me how it is and I need to get over it. And guess what I would have! but like a grand mom one of the other siblings who’s not a kid( if there are any) an aunt some adult in her life that can just be like “honey this needs to stop…” therapy is a very good idea but this specific situation can be quieted if handled properly