Jamie Wolfer
35
How to Talk to Your Parents about Wedding $$
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How to Talk to Your Parents about Wedding $$
Let’s be honest, you’re probably DREADING this conversation. But it doesn’t have to be hard!
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36 comments
You look so pretty in this video! We're self-financing our Vegas wedding and even possibly paying for our parents to travel. My first wedding mom paid for the catering, in-laws paid for the honeymoon and my ex and I paid for the rest. I've always been of the mind that weddings shouldn't be so expensive that you're breaking your actual (real-life) budget or having to ask for large sums from your relatives.
My parents would laugh in my face. And serves me right, to ask such a stupid thing 😂
My parents have always struggled financially. So my mindset from when I was a little girl has been “assume they can’t lend a penny & be happy & grateful if they can lend a dollar.”
Her shirt is solidifying my wedding colors 🙌. She helps even accidentally ❤️
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Jamie, or anyone, I need a feedback or advice. My fiancé’s grandma just passed and his mother is really heart broken. Our wedding is less than 7 weeks away. How soon or when should I talk to them about the wedding details and planning if the family is grieving. I feel really sad for what’s happened and I sympathize with them. But is it bad for focusing on my wedding event as I am the only person planing this entire event? My fiancé has a small part in this but it’s mainly me. I have friends who will help me with the decors and day-of-coordinator which would really help. But I just need someone to give me advice on how to approach this situation under unfortunate circumstances. I’d appreciate any feedback.
This video never seemed to make it to my feed! I don't know why that is but I'm glad it finally came up now
I'm going to show this video to my makeup artist for my wedding to show her how I want to look on my big day. So beautiful!
Parents contributing 😂 can't ever imagine that.
your hair looks gorgeous!
Thank you for sharing this, especially the points about how not all contributions are grand and/or monetary. We asked my parents to help us setup the venue for our reception since we really don’t want or need any $ from them. And my mom is making the short trip to pick up floral centerpieces the morning of. They did end up offering to pay for our alcohol which saves us quite a bit of money, and I was able to accept that help because it is a part of the wedding I’m not super invested in emotionally, since neither myself nor my future wife us are big drinkers.
I would love a video on another awkward conversation: telling people they can't come if they don't adhere to COVID regulations. I have a few people in my family who refuse to wear masks or get vaccinated. And I have others who will not attend if unvaccinated people show up. HELP!
I wish I had this video a year ago. My mother in law is so nice but my fiancé and her do not see design the same way and not our vision for the day.
She doesn’t drink. Totally fine. But dislikes the love is brewing and beer then of our wedding. We are getting married at a brewery. So offered to assist at the beginning then backed out because of things.
Then my parents offered more when they found out she backed out. I’m worried it was because of guilt.
But I definitely believe the couple should desire then speak to family.
His side wants us in a church and my parents laughed 😂
I LOOOOVE YOUR VIDEOS! Could you please make one about fun games at a wedding? like couple's bingo, questionnaires, etc., that would be such a good one 😊
I think I need $15,000 for my wedding and I don’t think I’m going to get much help, so I don’t know how I’m going to pay for it. It’s super disappointing. I always thought I would be able to get a nose job before my wedding day, but I doubt I can afford it. I think I’ll ask the photographer to try to not catch my profile because I hate my profile. It’s annoying that I can invite 10 people or 100 people and still pay $3,000 for my venue, my photographer, my videographer, my dress, my hair hair, my makeup, my nails… The hard part is my guy is in Ohio and my family is in Iowa and I live in Nebraska, so pretty much everyone has to travel to some extent.
You look like Carrie Underwood!!! 🥰
Called my Dad and said our budget for the wedding was 20k. He said he'll contribute half. My husband's parents contributed half too. My sister gave us 5k additional.We covered the honeymoon and some extras. We didn't ask for anything but were grateful.
I would never expect my parents or fiancé family to help with money for my wedding.
Great advice! We decided that we only wanted to plan a wedding we could afford on our own and if other people wanted to help contribute that was great and we would be very thankful! However we kindly set the expectation that we would have the final decision in all areas of the wedding to everyone who offered us money. If later down the line someone says the money is now conditional, I am happy to return it to them knowing we can still afford it ourselves.
My parents were 100% clear that their contributions would have strings attached, and that they would be offering different tiers of support depending on what my partner and I agreed to. However, my fiance and I knew that expectations are a tricky thing. When my parents were having trouble explaining what their "strings" were, we decided to simply thank them and step away from the drama, declining the gift and all the associated headaches and heartaches.
Unexpectedly, my parents still came forward with a generous gift to the wedding – and even better had a total understanding that their contribution would in no way impact our planning.
Did we maybe lose out on additional funding because we had a specific vision in mind for our day? Yes. However, I honestly feel like the decreases pressure between the two of us and among my family made it worthwhile.
I might be skipping over this conversation with my parents. Since their reaction to us getting engaged was "OR, don't have a wedding, and put that money toward a house instead.", I feel like I'm going into that conversation already knowing the answer is going to be no. 😕 My fiancé's sister says I should try anyway, but I feel like it's not worth the heartache.
You look stunning Jamie, ABSOLUTELY STUNNING 😍
WHERE are those earrings from?!? 😍😍😍
You probably already have something on this but i would love a video about wedding videography. Is it worth it, ways to save on the cost of it etc
Why is no one talking about how gorgeous Jamie looks here 😍.. you look so nice!!!!!!
Great tips. My fiance and I don't plan on having anyone contribute to wedding except us. That way no one but us will have a say in it. We don't plan to spend too much. I purchased the dress and accessories already. I also booked the church and we will have the reception in the basement. We got a great package that includes the minister, sound coordinator, church rental day before wedding and day of the wedding. The reception was only $100 more that includes set up of tables and chairs and use of them. This video was helpful though. We do plan to say instead of gifts, cash donations are welcomed. That would be on the day of the wedding. But we don't really expect to receive anything. We might make the food ourselves so that will help reduce the cost plus I can show off my french dishes.
Very helpful!!
Omg the intro to this video was so great! I never really mind Jamie’s wordy intros, but for anyone who has never watched her videos, this was a great intro! Haha
I was really lucky in this aspect. My parents actually brought it up to me and told me exactly how much they were willing to contribute, I was very shocked but grateful that I didn’t have to ask any awkward questions. My fiancés parents on the other hand are a different story. He is sure that they will contribute but they’re not the type to actively admit that and he thinks they’ll probably just offer to pay for things as they spring up. This isn’t ideal as it makes things harder to budget for but of course I can’t complain at them offering to help
I remember when I was in high school someone in my class had 2 older sisters that were both in relationships. Her parents sat down with all the girls and told them that they had set aside a certain dollar amount for their weddings. They said that once they were engaged they would open a bank account in their daughter's name and deposit that money. The daughter could then use the funds however they wanted knowing that once that money was gone her parents would not be able to help more. The daughters really appreciated the openness and the fact that their parents didn't have opinions on how they should use that money. BTW both older sisters got married within a 13 month period. My classmate got married about 3 years later.
Perfect timing! Planning to talk to my parents this weekend with my husband about our wedding. Our destination wedding is June 5th, 2022 in Hawaii. Just sent our invitations out yesterday! My husband and I will be paying for our wedding but we also still want to talk to my to my parents if they plan on helping out. They have told us they want to give us money during our wedding planning but we never had a serious talk about it. So I believe it is time since everything will be due in May.
Good video. My mother can’t help financially, but she has been helping with wedding planning since the beginning. I have called her and asked for advice and she has proofread our invitation cards etc.
Literally perfect timing! I want to chat with my mom about this very soon! Thanks for the tips
This is a fantastic video, as always, but I'm having a hard time focusing because I am so obsessed with how AMAZING your hair looks right now Jamie!! Omg!!! Beautiful
Hey Jamie, could you do a video on wedding hair and makeup styles, or how to pick someone to do your hair and makeup? I know you did a video early about a specific wedding look, but this type of video would be really cool when picking a makeup artist or hair stylist or asking a friend or family member to do your hair and makeup.
I needed this video a year ago. Many good tips I should’ve applied!