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OUTDATED (and SEXIST??) WEDDING TRADITIONS TO SKIP | Taking my husband's last name?!
Let’s chat about some of the sexist and/or outdated wedding traditions that you may or may not want to include in your wedding… What wedding traditions are you leaving out??
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13 Outdated and Patriarchal Wedding Traditions (on the blog): https://wayfaringweddings.com/outdated-and-patriarchal-wedding-traditions/ What do you think about this topic?!?
This is so relatable, I'm so glad I found your channel. Thanks for documenting all this
My partner and I want to get married. Keep on wondering what that would look like and mean. I think my dad walked me down the aisles is sexist. I think that thought of any man giving me away is sexist. I want to know of any other wedding traditions that may be involved.
I just dont my dad to be sad.
How about this suggestion. Create your own last name because to a woman keeping her last name when that last name mostly like came from her father. My last name was most likely derived from slave masters branding my forefathers as their property. Patriarchy seems to be doing the same thing in marriage – just saying.
You’re right. We should ban marriage. Just hook up and nothing else. Relationship is sexist
If a woman doesn't want to take my last name, I wouldn't marry her.
I see asking for a blessing as more of a promise to the parents that he will do his best to take care of their daughter since her "well being" will be in his hands mentally and physically (not to say she can't defend and protect herself) but he will doing everything he can in spite of that. if someone's parents don't give the blessing then more often than not they don't trust that he could, and in some cases might even cause turmoil.
I don't think the gender divided wedding party is outdated because everyone needs sisteres/brothers time only
the #1 thing i find sexist at a wedding is that after they get married and whoever is doing your wedding announces you as “Mr and Mrs. Husbands first name and last name” it just seems very odd and possessive to me
wtf is up with it being considered the womens special day not the mans why not just their special day like the man is half the wedding
I don’t want a traditional wedding at all. I don’t want a father daughter dance, I would prefer to walk myself down the isle and I don’t want a bridal party. But some of these I didn’t think about such as the traditional asking for “permission” from the brides parents
This was amazing, 👍👍
My mum didn’t change her last name when she married my dad and sometimes people (if they don’t know us), for example a woman working at the airport one time, wonder whether she’s my mum or if she’s my aunt or cousin or something. And it’s not that we don’t look the same, we totally do. It’s just that she doesn’t have the same last name as me and my dad. I think it’s quite weird and annoying that people generally expect women to change their last names to their husbands, like why???
I really like this video and I sought out this topic purposefully. I love questioning traditions and a lot of these are sexist. Only criticism is please please don't put cork pops in your videos. It was jolting and louder than your audio. I want to hear you and all these interesting points you bring up.
As a man, I will never get rid of traditional marriage. Life itself is sexist, accept it.
I’m keeping mine it’s too meaningful to me and no man is worth changing who I am
Marriage is an outdated tradition. It was created a 1,000 years ago. If you want to be with someone forever just do that. You don't need to be married the traditional way. The last name issue may become a problem when you have kids. What last name will you give your kids? Hyphenated names are a real pain in the ass. I have one and its brutal. My full name is Guy Layton Allen-Hermanson and its caused so many problems. I get called Guy Allen or Guy Hermanson or government offices tell me they don't deal with hyphenated names. Women drive the wedding industry and old people are the ones keeping traditions alive. So once most of the older people are gone women will just do what they want to change traditional weddings but trust me they will never give up getting expensive rings. NO DAM WAY! Us men are slowly being DE-BALLED. Women want everything their way. The problem is if that happens women will be stuck with unics and they'll be unhappy. Women want men to be men. Its ingrained in their DNA. So unless you change the make up of human female DNA you won't totally eliminate the need for real men. Stop trying to cut off our balls. But I do agree lots of the old wedding traditions are meaningless now. Although, have you noticed the bride's father or the groom's parents still pays a lot of money for the wedding? Maybe he's giving her away because he paid for everything! Should that tradition be changed or stopped? I bet most brides would say no. Are the groons or brides going to pay? Most can't afford what they want. I know I'm a wedding DJ with 30 years experience. So yes, don't do wedding traditions you don't like but replace them with something fun because you've dragged all the guests out to who knows where, they've given you gifts, hired babysitters for their kids, the women guests probably bought new outfits, possibly purchased by their husbands, and spent hours waiting to get drinks into them that will probably be expensive. Half the couples don't even realize they need to give proper speeches to thank everyone for coming and giving gifts plus they should thank their parents and all the vendors. It blows my mind after all the hours I've spent on couples and then they don't say shit. It's just a reflection of today's selfish society that lacks respect for some traditions, character and manners.
I’m a wedding photographer planning my wedding right now and I am STRUGGLING to not have any sexist rooted traditions. Thank you for this!
Another outdated custom that some people still use today is Miss for minor girls Ms for unmarried adult women and Mrs for married women. Were as men only have Mr whether they are married or not. I told people do not use that title as part of my name.
Ohhh yes, so much weirdness in traditions… the worst one practiced in my country is when they blindfold the groom and he has to go under the bride's dress, take off her garter with his teeth and toss it 🙄 so gross!
We both have weird surnames so I think I'll just add his to mine, because mine just grew on me, even though I used to hate it. We wanted to get something completely new, but he already made a bit of a name for himself while writing articles, so it's best if he keeps it.
My dad is not present in my life so I don't know what to do with the whole walking down the aisle moment… I thought my mom should take his place, but then it will be just another one of those "oh her mom has to replace her dad every time" …soooo I'm thinking my future husband and I could just walk together hand in hand… we flip off the tradition and at the same time show that our dynamic in our relationship is equal and I don't have to be "given away". 🤔 There's a lot of "giving away", "earning" and "buying" the bride moments 🙄
In my country it's common to hide the bride and the groom has to look for her, or he comes to her home to get her and then he has to idk… chop some wood to prove his manlyness… I hate all of these and thankfully our families do too… I'm thinking of just not inviting the few friends who could organise these stupid rituals, I don't even want to be asked why we didn't do any.
I’m the type of person that just think they’re fun and want to do them 😂 but I totally see everything you’re saying! It makes a lot of sense.